14th
Benvenuti a Roma!
For the next two weeks we’re in Rome, doing as the Romans do. Already we’ve learned that that means eating your main meal at lunch with wine (very civilized), smoking a lot while doing everything (questionable), and pressing your groin into anyone you please on a crowded bus (not so nice unless it’s welcomed by the party on the receiving end).
Since some of us have never visited the Eternal City before, our first stop was the Foro Romano. Located at the center of the city, it’s a huge archaeological site with the Campidoglio at one end and the Colosseum at the other. The most striking thing is the sheer size of the buildings. Even in ruin, they are massive. You can just imagine the impression this made on every rube from the provinces who had the good fortune to visit Rome back in the day.
These days, of course, the Foro Romano, in addition to still being an active archaeological site, is a huge tourist magnet. And where there are tourists, there are people trying to make a fast buck. In this case, it is a phalanx of rather sad-looking would-be Roman centurions. They are scattered about just outside the boundary of the Foro Romano enticing tourists to take photos with them for a fee. A typical invitation goes something like this, “Hey, big boy, I want your woman. Come fight for her”. I imagine there are variations on this theme, depending on the circumstances…
While I appreciate the hustle involved, the pulling-yourself-up-by-the-sandal-strap-piness of their endeavor, some of these fellows really need to try a little harder. At one end there are those who have really made effort to replicate the garb, right down to the shin guards and sandals. Then there are those who seem to decided to give it a go that day and pulled out their hallowe’en costume. The effect is the similar to the denizens that stand in front of Graumann’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood - they look the part from 20 feet away but when you get closer, you realize that SpongeBob has been spending his nights in a drunken stupor under a freeway and is much the worse for wear for it.
The others out for a buck around the Foro Romano are vendors of tschotkes, ice cold drinks and snacks. Happily, unlike in the US, most of these snacks are pretty healthy. Heavens, there was even a fruit stand near the statue of Julius Caesar.
Now, the name “Imperial Fruit” is funny enough on its own. But given that Caesar used to be taunted by his own men for a same-sex liaison he had in his youth, it is just that little bit funnier.
